On Transition and Connection
Cultivating Authentic Connection
Moving through a deep transition in life is like starting at a blinking cursor on a fresh blank page. It’s fear-inducing, intimidating, emotional, and so much more
Why connection
I have had the incredible privilege in life to experience life in cities across the US, but also around the world. I’ve lived in 4 countries, and married into a 5th, with strong ties to many others. Since I was a child, I was hungry for people’s stories—what lights them up, what is their struggle, what do they value, what drives them. Over time, I have learned that I’m not alone, but I’ve also learned that I am a great connector of people and their experiences.
The past 10-15 years have challenged me, the core me, the me that allows me to function. I tried all the things, paid for all the courses, did all the therapy, and though much of what I learned is helpful and I look forward to sharing, connecting with other women through cooking, playing games, hiking, bonfires, sharing stories, doing ice breakers was the most joy-giving thing, like a lifeline. (To be clear, inauthentic connection, or connections brought by convenience, had the opposite effect and left me insecure and wondering what I was doing wrong.)
Moving back to the US has been an eye-opener for how physically disconnected life here has become. In my previous community, it was normal for people to pop in for a coffee/tea, have a quick chat and then head out. My home was open and my coffee ready. It took YEARS to slowly work the ND girl in me out that wants my space as MINE (she’s still there when I need boundary setting). I greatly underestimated how deeply rooted these little culture bits impact life. I may as well have 10 heads here to do that because people are “busy”, “exhausted”, “over-extended”.
Having said that, the most common thing I hear from women is that they crave authentic female connection, the ability to slooow down, the ability to just stop by. I hear you.
Growth as a Community
As I write and grow in my writing, formulate ideas for content, and develop live courses for my community, my ideas will become more succinct and offerings more concrete. I will express my heartfelt gratitude now for being with me on this journey, sharing what works and what doesn’t, what you’d like more of/less of, and what you can offer the women in our community.
There is no one true way to go about building connection, but the impact of connection and DISconnection is similar for all of us. What works for one woman will not for the other; some are introverted and some extroverted (and some of us are a blend of the two).
The reality is that sometimes we might need something, but are not in the physical/emotional space to get this. Experiment with how you can navigate these spaces and share with us how you are doing so. Keep trying. Something will click. Often, we just need time.
