On Transition and Connection
Moving through a deep transition in life is like starting at a blinking cursor on a fresh blank page. It’s fear-inducing, intimidating, emotional, and so much more. We usually don’t see it coming, so we’re often blind-sided by it, calling it something else because it feels like so many other things. I’ve toyed with what I want to write about for years, and the themes that come up are usually grief, travel, cross-cultural living, baking, parenting neurodiverse adult child, trauma, expat living, raising third culture kids (TCKs), and more.
Though I have many opinions and experiences in all of these areas, none felt right, so I started thinking about the common underlying theme in all of them. For a long time, that theme was simply connection. Needless to say, it didn’t get at the why … everyone needs connection, so who was I speaking to? What population around the world needs to hear about the importance of connection.
And then I moved my family back to the US after 14 and a half years in the Middle East.
Transitioning
I have had the incredible privilege in life to experience life in cities across the US, but also around the world. I’ve lived in 4 countries, and married into a 5th, with strong ties to many others. Since I was a child, I was hungry for people’s stories—what lights them up, what is their struggle, what do they value, what drives them. Over time, I have learned that I’m not alone, but I’ve also learned that I am a great connector of people and their experiences.
Moving back to the US has been an eye-opener in just how disconnecting times of transition are. Everything about it is deeply unsettling, especially for children, and it is a time of deep sadness and grief. Moving through my first year back, spending that time simply creating a home and helping my family adjust allowed me to see that transition and the impact of transition on our lives. This experience lit the fire in me because it all clicked — connecting during times of transition.
The past 10-15 years have challenged me, the core me, the me that allows me to function because I spent the whole of that time in deep transition. I tried all the things, paid for all the courses, did all the therapy, and though much of what I learned is helpful and I look forward to sharing, connecting with other women through cooking, playing games, hiking, bonfires, sharing stories, doing ice breakers was the most joy-giving thing, like a lifeline. (To be clear, inauthentic connection, or connections brought by convenience, had the opposite effect and left me insecure and wondering what I was doing wrong.)
In a world that is seemingly more connected than ever, I began to see DISconnection everywhere. The busy
Having said that, the most common thing I hear from women is that they crave authentic female connection, the ability to slooow down, the ability to just stop by. I hear you.
Growth as a Community
As I write and grow in my writing, formulate ideas for content, and develop live courses for my community, my ideas will become more succinct and offerings more concrete. I will express my heartfelt gratitude now for being with me on this journey, sharing what works and what doesn’t, what you’d like more of/less of, and what you can offer the women in our community.
There is no one true way to go about building connection, but the impact of connection and DISconnection is similar for all of us. What works for one woman will not for the other; some are introverted and some extroverted (and some of us are a blend of the two).
The reality is that sometimes we might need something, but are not in the physical/emotional space to get this. Experiment with how you can navigate these spaces and share with us how you are doing so. Keep trying. Something will click. Often, we just need time.
